I’ve always been much more math/science oriented than raw emotion when it comes to working with people in everyday life or business. Why? It might be that I’ve always excelled in the sciences vs. the arts. Math grades always made more sense to me than English—they were black and white, wrong or right.

For the longest time, my brain has worked programmatically in all situations. Or so I thought. Tonight, just under half the team at FareHarbor (25 of us in 4 times zones) worked well into the night over pizza, thai, beer and wine to get a new client live. And it made me think, where did this amazing culture and #cantstopwontstop attitude originate? There certainly wasn’t a formula that allowed us to hire such a remarkable group of people. And there doesn’t even seem to be a formula of snacks, salary, office space or responsibility driving the culture either.

To break down my nerdy reliance on math to the core, I’d look at my dating life. I broke up with a girlfriend of 5 years in October and ever since, I’ve found myself reading those awful articles on when to kiss a girl, take her home, introduce her to your parents, etc. For some reason, I’ve thought the answer to moving past heartbreak and finding the “one” was as easy as solving for A in A+B=C.

It’s odd to admit that my personal life has felt so science oriented while my business life has been driven by so much passion/art. But it’s the truth. And the juxtaposition couldn’t have been clearer than tonight. Before rolling into the office to begin the all-nighter of work with the team, I received a call from a girl that I thought was amazing and wonderful. She wanted to let me know that our relationship wouldn’t work out.

Honestly, I was surprised. According to all those stupid magazines, I’d done everything right. But the reality was, I’d done everything wrong. I’d acted like a robot—not me. I was too busy making sure that everything went to plan—but whose? Should I kiss her? Buy her flowers? Why not see what Men’s Journal says…? When did impulse and emotion die and “rationalization” take over? I’m not sure, but early enough to kill off any hope of ever seeing this girl again.

On the flipside, when I walked into the office an hour later carrying a 12 pack of beer, a bottle of wine, and a Domino’s order, I was greeted by something incredible—a team of dedicated and happy employees. Why was it so awesome? Because tonight’s exercise in getting a client live was purely optional. Nobody was required to dedicate their night to helping the company.

So why even make the connection between my dating life and the culture of FareHarbor (other than one seems to be going poorly and the other so well)? It’s because I’ve easily read more about dating since my breakup than I have about creating company culture. Sure, I’m the owner of all of those “must reads” for entrepreneurs that want to grow their business (Work Rules by Laszlo Bock; The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz; etc.). But all those books have one thing in common; I’ve only made it to paragraph 2.

Now, I’m not trying to knock what’s in the remaining chapters, because I am sure it would be insightful knowledge. Instead, I’m admitting that all of FareHarbor’s culture has been created completely organically. There has been no formula and no advisor.

How have we done it without a guidebook or formula? Well, for fiduciary responsibility sake, I’ll admit that we have a financial model that we follow to make sure we can afford to buy something or hire somebody. But beyond that, it’s pure emotion and passion for what we do from the top down. Our employees know that I am one of the loudest, sailor-mouthed, and fired up people they will ever meet. Our employees can feel how excited every person in a management position is for our business. And everybody at the top busts their ass too.

So what’s my advice for the aspiring business owner? Put the book down, do some basic math on how much you can afford on your team, and let your emotions do the rest. At some point you were an eternal optimist—let everybody see it, and don’t hide. Your business was built on your back and there is no reason to change now. Let your heart shine and your true self be visible to your team. Only then, can you create the foundation for a team that’s as excited about your product as you are.

And to my future dating self? Well, stop reading those stupid articles first. And why hide who you really are? You’re a foul mouthed-sailor, ironman, and just crazy enough to have started a business that’s more than 50 strong. You’ve already taken one of the craziest leaps—does it get scarier than that? There’s no formula for perfect so take a risk, act like you, and have fun. You have nothing to lose.